Pause to Propel. What to do When You’re Forced to Take a Break
The perception of hard work and success in this country will never cease to amaze me. It’s especially pervasive in the sports world. There are so many examples of greatness from athletes who have dedicated their lives to their sport. And I am a firm believer in working hard to achieve the goals you’ve set out for yourself.
But just as any other example of evolution, we know more today than we did yesterday. And what we know now is that after a period of sustained work there should be adequate rest for the body and mind to recover. Of course this is unique for every person and their definition of ‘sustained work’ and ‘adequate rest’ will vary in different chapters of their lives. We see in many sectors that this built-in rest period actually helps with sustainability and one’s ability to perform at a higher level for longer.
“In toxic cultures, rest is taking your foot off the gas. You’re forced to push yourself to exhaustion—burnout is a price to pay for excellence. In healthy cultures, rest is a supply of fuel. You’re expected to take regular reprieves—breaks are vital to gain and sustain energy.” —Adam Grant
Adam Grant is one of my favorite teachers to follow and read his thoughts about leadership, communication, but honestly just to remind me that I’m a human. So much of what we’re fed — especially as women in business and sports — is to feel grateful to be where we are and to work hard to stay on track to succeed by society’s standards. The process of starting my own business has given me the permission to rewrite what success looks like right now and how to best find a balance between sprinting towards my goals and taking a pause to realize what I need before I can give any part of myself to something else.
For so many athletes I work with, the pause of being between phases — deciding to continue to pursue your athletic dreams, recovering from an injury, finding yourself between teams or walking into retirement — can feel like they’re not doing anything productive.
Whether you’re an elite athlete, an entrepreneur or just identify with the Type A personality, this concept of resting can feel so counterintuitive to what has made you successful in the past that it becomes unbearable to accept.
Then there are moments in life when we are forced to take a pause. I’m thinking of clients who have not chosen when they retired from their sport, got injured unexpectedly, got laid off from a job they thought was secure or didn’t get into an academic program.
So whether you’re proactively trying to build in a pause or have been forced into a break, there are a few ways you can respond…
Resist the Break.
So many friends and clients resist the urge to take a pause in their lives. They feel they can’t afford to slow down or they’ll never be able to achieve their goals in the future if they slow down now.
This sense of denial around our bodies being machines that can just continue in perpetuity, without refueling, will be debunked.
But change is hard. And taking a pause or building in real periods of mental and physical rest requires patience to change our own attitudes around what productivity means to us right now.
Accept with Compassion.
This part requires a bit of trust in your mind and body. Being able to listen to what some of your needs may be and accessing them, consistently. To me, the consistency part is what’s so tough.
It’s not about creating self-care to do lists. That’s not the goal. I think the best way to accept a pause and let yourself rest is to listen to your body and mind each day and try to ease into what they’re telling you in the present moment. If you want to stay in bed, do that. If you want to run 10 miles, do that.
Learning to trust ourselves during a period of rest is so, so difficult. And it’s not something that’s achieved flawlessly. So don’t expect perfection. Expect this to be hard.
A little bit of both.
Of course this is my third option…because there will always be moments of resistance and acceptance throughout any period that’s new to us.
Change, especially unexpected change or feelings of rejection, can cause some serious disruption to our confidence in knowing we can figure out what to do next.
So allow space for denial and resistance to happen — like having days when you’ll try to do what you’ve always done to make you successful.
And try to balance out your natural tendencies with things that may be more difficult — like meditating, journaling, therapy, lower-intensity workouts, etc.
So my key takeaways here are that you’ll always have periods of high intensity, slow downs, stability, instability, acceptance, denial, and what matters most is…
Remember, the pause won't last forever. And I've learned that most often a pause can be a gift. A chance to break out of your normal routine, explore different interests, let your body and mind wander in new ways. Sometimes we need to stay still before we can sprint ahead.
Whether you choose to accept or deny the pauses in your life — they will happen. So why not try to learn as much as you can from those experiences?
There will be periods where you go hard and periods where you won’t — both are necessary. Our bodies aren’t machines. We need to pause, rest, refuel and those breaks can prevent burnout, build resilience and give us the motivation we need to last longer when we begin again.
Rest isn’t overrated,
—A
Quick Note: These two books have helped me better understand what to do during life’s pauses and how to strive for balance, not perfection. I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I have! Working Identity + Quarterlife
