Who Needs January for a New Ritual?
Practicing what I Preach.
Starting new rituals always seems like a January job, or at least that’s what it has been for me traditionally. But this year has been a trying one throughout - so I’ve leaned on my rituals more and more to hold myself grounded, calm and confident in the work I’m doing and the life I’m building. To varying degrees of success, but these rituals are always worth starting again.
In working with athletes, executives, entrepreneurs and teams working through tough transitions, it’s become second-nature to identify best practices, lead others through exercises and hold a safe space for folks to get into the nitty gritty of their own uncertain situations. As I develop individualized materials for my clients based on what they’re going through…so much of what I suggest is based on my lived experiences and ideas from what I’ve tried in my own world (in addition to best practices from other experts).
And just like some doctors can be the worst patients, it can be easy for me to get off balance when it comes to navigating a bit of chaos with a balanced, curious mind. I try to give myself grace when these doubts or periods of anxiety come through, but I’m human and I can get impatient, defeated and hopeless some days.
So here are a few things that I’ve found helpful when I need to re-ground myself amidst a bit of uncertainty. And sometimes it’s all of these things, but usually I’m just in need of one to reset my mind and get back to work. I hope in sharing these - you can find one that resonates with you and reminds you that rituals can start and be accessed anytime you need them.
Let’s get into it…
Move my Body: This one is incredibly popular with my athletes, but can be so helpful for everyone. Movement of any kind - walk, run, yoga, cycle, strength train, golf - gets my mind off whatever topic I’ve been ruminating on and allows me to dial in to what my body is doing and take notice of how I’m feeling. This may be a controversial move, but I try not to listen to anything when I do this one. I like to let my mind wander and if I’m listening to a podcast or music, I tend to get fixated on things. So I try to remove any other stimuli and just focus on moving my body.
Journal: There are so many benefits of reflecting and journaling when you’re going through any transition. Maybe it won’t feel so cathartic in the moment, but it can be incredibly helpful to look back on even a few days or weeks after you’ve written something to remind you where you are now. So while I do unprompted entries whenever I feel compelled, there’s one ritual I have stuck to over the past two years. That’s a weekly Brag - Gratitude - Desire journal entry that I do every Monday. I like this one because I get to start my week thinking about one thing I’m proud of (Brag), one thing I’m thankful for (Gratitude) and one thing I’m longing for (Desire). While gratitude journaling can be helpful for mood boosting, I like this practice because sometimes it can be hard to feel only grateful when other things are on my mind.
Control what I Can: This is often the toughest for me personally, but it proves to be the most practical for folks who need a to-do list to help them focus. When I’m feeling off course, I make a list of things I can control (ie - make a connection, sign up for a class, develop material, read an article, etc.). Whatever makes it on the ‘controllable’ list is something I can make a to-do for. Then I make a list of uncontrollables (ie - hearing back from a potential client, clarity around the path I’m on, feedback on a proposal, etc.). I try to let go of any thoughts around this list and refocus on what I can actually control. The goal here is to remind you that if something falls on the ‘uncontrollables’ list, the only thing you can do is worry…and if you’re able to acknowledge that worry and place that energy back into the list of controllables, we’re making progress!
Talk to my People: This is something I’ve learned through the last 18-months as an entrepreneur. Doing something risky on your own can feel pretty isolating. Whether you’re an athlete leaving your sport, an entrepreneur betting on yourself or an executive with the weight of the world on your shoulders - everyone can use a team of experts in their corner. I was given the advice to assemble a ‘board of advisors’ who knew me well and could help me navigate some unknowns. So this is a combination of ‘experts’ in certain areas where I feel less versed in (therapy, finances, marketing, etc.). I tend to go to these folks when I need targeted advice on their areas of expertise. And I also have ‘ambassadors’ or folks who will give me honest feedback, be my thought partners and will hold space for me to be raw and emotional without judgment. Both are important to have in your corner when you’re having a tough day or week or month. This fills my cup every single time.
While these are my rituals when I’m feeling a bit unraveled, I know that I don’t HAVE TO do any of these everyday. But I can access them when I need them, depending on whatever is happening that day, week or month. So whether one of these feels right to you, or you have your own outlet for getting grounded and confident in your decision-making -- give yourself grace. Focus on what you need and what you can control. The rest is for the birds.
Always rooting for you,
— A
